Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Things that e-rritate me...

Since we (me, and all y'all that read this) are pretty internet savvy, connected, smart-device, text messaging, POP3 email on my mobile device, chic-geek (copyright on that term!!!) kinda people, more or less, I'm just curious--do any of you know those kind of people who don't exactly "get it" when it comes to the connected world, and especially email? I was thinking about this on the way in--stuff that e-rritates me (like the "e" in email, and 'irritates'--again, copyright on the word!). So, I'm coming up with a set of rules for the 5 or so technologically challenged friends I have...

  • Chain emails don't work. Ever.
  • Forwarding chain emails should be considered a venial sin. Or possibly mortal.
  • Forwarding chain emails with a note saying "I never forward these things, but..." does not absolve you.
  • Each funny picture you include in an email increases the size of the message. Sometimes a lot. To the extent that sending (or receiving!) some messages is like trying to stuff a 10 inch turd through a 5 inch pipe...
  • Speaking of pictures--if you send an email that's supposed to have a picture, and the picture isn't there when I get it, you should assume it's something *you* did wrong in sending it.
  • When you send me something, assume I got it. Especially when you send 10 emails to me, and I respond to one saying "Funny!" or some other lame-ass comment. It's not like the US Post Office--if your email doesn't get to me, chances are you'll get a notification telling you why, then you can resend it (or better yet, NOT...).
  • If your email has been forwarded multiple times, how about you do everyone a favor and clean up the headers...I don't need to see that 'a' forwarded this message to a hundred people, and 'b' who was on 'a's list forwarded it to a hundred people, and 'c' also forwarded get the idea. Hopefully.
  • Before you forward a message about how Microsoft is going to give you $20 for every email you forward, or how we can stick it to The Man (side note--I find it fascinating that Wikipedia actually has an entry for "the man"...) by not buying gas on a specific day, or something that sounds too good to be true--please, please, please, check (or a similar site) to see if it's an urban legend. Cuz first, it's a waste of time for me to have to check your facts and second, you're gonna be pretty embarassed when I do a "Reply All" and say "Hey sorry dude, urban legend..."

I could go on and on, but I think that's a good enough list for now. There...I feel better.

So, what e-rritates you?

UPDATE: Oh yeah, thought of one more. Why, oh why, people, do you send me jokes, videos, pictures, whatever that insult my nationality, my religious affiliation, my choice of sports teams, or (ESPECIALLY) my political beliefs? The political jokes--HUGE e-rritant for me. I'm a registered member of the Democratic Party (and proud of it), so humor that denegrates either the party, its membership, Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton doesn't strike me as funny. Thanks for playin'.


Daniel said...

I would have to add that e-mails with 4 meg attachments of photos or a video really irritate me. Usually from someone elder or someone that doesn't know internet etiquette. I don't want to reallly see a bunch of LOLcats, videos of redneck robots or ppt files of Dubai. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

All of the above!! Especially the squillion email addresses I need to scroll through to get to the damn message - DELETE DELETE DELETE!!
This was brilliant Jim - I think I may have to pink puffy heart you for this ;o)

jtj3 said...

Oh Dan, I feel ya there...all the body of the email says is "Enjoy" or something stupid--then it's either some crappy WMV you've seen a million--sorry, SQUILLION (thanks Penelope) times, or something that won't load...

Penelope, a pink puffy heart??? Oh my, I'm so honored...I'd like to thank the Academy, and my parents, and God... (C;

snowelf said...

Why do I have this image of you checking your email from your phone while sprawled out in a big pink puffy heart bean bag chair?!
That's awesome Penelope!! :)

I rarely RARELY forward anything. And if I do, it's really funny.
And even then, I usually blog about it instead.
And even then, I delete the annoyingly messy headers.
And even then, I still rarely forward anything.
So, yea. Totally agree.

--snow said...

hey jim,

amen brother :) about the netiquette.

loved your comment today on my bloggy. you made me giggle. me me me! he he.

i pink puffy heart you, too, ever since my phone call post the other day and your reaction to it.

you're a sweet one. come back anytime man. night, kathleenybeany :)

Ashley said...

All of the stuff you listed annoys the crap out of me too. And yet, I get loads of fwds. I also hate the "I love you this much" and "Your friendship means the world to me" " send this 50 ppl that you love and back to me...." fwds. OOOH And..."If you love God, send this to EVERYONE" and then they go on and shame you...if you don't send it, you must be ashamed of God (I'm Christian and so are the senders...but STILL).


jtj3 said...

Snow, I totally check my email (all 4 accounts--DON'T ASK) from my phone. Just don't have a puffy heart chair...right now. One of these days, tho.....

Hey, Kathleenybeeny, glad we're on the same wavelength--and thanks for pink puffy hearting me too! SCORE! (C:

Ashley--OOH, you hit a major hot button for me: the whole "if you don't forward this message you don't LOVE JESUS" thing. I'm like you--the people sending it are Christians, so I am...but WTH? I read these, I'm thinking "Way to guilt trip me dude..."

maggie, dammit said...


I'd say the "forward this or you'll die immediately" emails still blow me away the most. How on earth do people believe this enough to actually do it? Who ARE these people????

jtj3 said...

Maggie, I totally hear ya! RE: who these people are--the ones I know are nice, but a little too trusting (or call it naive), and not very computer-savvy. Makes for a dangerous combination. But ya gotta love them anyway, especially if they're family...

Christine said...

"Christine, did you get my email? I emailed you."

There I am on the phone, thinking, well, I am looking at my email now and there is nothing new from you, Mom. So,


"Well, why not? I sent it Thursday."

That's when I realize, yes, I got her email. And I responded to it. THURSDAY. But she does not check her own email. She just keeps SENDING emails, and then calling me to ask if I got them.

Then, of course, she will have to go through the content of the email, on the phone. The email I read, and responded to, days ago. That probably is about something someone forwarded to her, anyway.

A slight e-rritant, for me, are people who go OVERBOARD on the deleting. Because if you don't check your email all that often, so that you respond to my email a week after I send it, but you delete every word of what I wrote you, and then you respond with cryptic stuff, I have a hard time piecing together the conversational thread. I love people who weave their responses into the body of my original email. Good for days when my brain isn't all that speedy.

Oh, yeah, and another thing. I hate the guys who decide that since I say I do photography, they can use that as an excuse to send me some of THEIR photos.

Of their Junk.

Please, please, PLEASE, I have a good enough idea what your dick looks like. Trust me. Unless, of course, I really want to seeeee it, and then YOU WILL KNOW. But that list is exceeeeeedingly short.

(even shorter than your junk, photo dudes!)

Rick said...

Honestly, I was scared to comment on this post for fear of a blogging post retribution rant against me on any comment I left. Hopefully you have cooled down by now. Whew! LOL

jtj3 said...

Christine...I *love* the whole thing about people who have to call because they don't check their inbox to see that YES DAMMIT I GOT YOUR EMAIL BUT YOU KNOW WHAT PEOPLE I HAVE A FREAKIN JOB AND CAN'T OPEN STUPID LOLCATZ AND "PASS THIS ALONG IF YOU LOVE AMERICA", sorry for yelling... :-/

Rick, it's cool--you're a good dude. Now if you start spamming me, or anyone on the blog, then you'll feel our WRATH BHWHAHAHAHAHA (that was an evil laff, with me here)...